As airport security screening procedures continue to be "enhanced" in the wake of the parcel bomb threat, many passengers are protesting at the increasingly invasive pat-downs.
Some airports have installed controversial "backscatter" X-ray machines, which require that passengers be irradiated prior to boarding the plane. For frequent flyers, who might be screened dozens of times a year, this is a particularly alarming development as the long-term health risks of such regular doses of x-rays in a non-medical environment arenot yet fully understood. But you do have the option to submit to a thorough patdown instead, which is not exactly a welcome prospect, either.
There's no doubt that all of this subustantially increases the stress of travel by air, which used to be an exciting and even pleasurable activity. While a few airlines strive to keep up the fun in the air, there seems to be no hope for making security screenings more welcome.
So here is my solution:
- Increase the security screening fee to hire more officers, and require all of the new hires to be licensed massage technicians or therapists.
- For a moderate fee - say $5 or $10 - your security patdown would include a brief massage. The massage would allow officers to clearly determine if you were carrying any explosives or weapons, but would also reduce the stress from the travel and screening experience. Who would mind taking off their shoes if they knew they would soon enjoy a chance for a foot rub? Or holding out their arms if their shoulders were being massaged? Secondary search could become a desirable perk of flying much coveted by passengers.
- Massage chairs at the screening checkpoints would not take up much space, and just the sight of other passengers relaxing for a minute or two while complying could be an excellent public relations campaign for the TSA.
- Documentable benefitsbeyond just more thorough screening for dangerous objects or substances could includefewer "air rage" incidents, better circulation, fewer injuries from flinging our carryons into the overhead bins,and improved customer satisfaction for the airlines.
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